The unbroken circle of shame. It’s internalized via authorities definitions and instructions and external, it was believed to be shameful by everyone else too. Often when people feel badly about things, other people can provide a sense of perspective.
How many times have you felt lost and vulnerable and family, friends and/or professionals reassured you about your inner torment? What if instead they ALL told you this in the first place and everywhere you went the message was the same?
That you fear about yourself is exactly how it is. And you know, it’s your duty to feel even worse actually.
What effect do you think that would have had on you?
Fat shaming is the shame of our shared collective consciousness.
There was no separation, which meant no rest, no ability to escape and therefore recover from these intense feelings of dread and shame.
Where we could know it was us against the world. We were part of that same world, against ourselves. We could not and did not know to defend ourselves at all.
This highly unnatural state, often building on the defenselessness of children-hence the disgusting targeting of children with so called ‘child obesity’.
So when thin/slim people talk about randomn people “thin shaming” them and hurting their fee fees, it simply is not the same thing at all.
It spoils the effect if you use allusion to such to insult fat people.
Even when I felt acutely embarrassed about being fat and wanted desperately to prove my moral worth-by becoming slim.
I still had absolutely no desire to participate in certain thought processes much aired by certain slimmer people. i.e. behaving as if other people’s bodies are attacking your own, without your say so. i.e. behaving as if it’s impossible to tell models are thin for their job and if it isn’t yours, you don’t have to try to thin like them, unless you don’t want to.
Or oh, “I hate my body so much-even though it looks exactly like the height of acceptability.” Oh really? Why don’t you just try stopping that if-only if- you don’t like it, as this is going on in your own brain?
Of course, like many other fatz, who had similar thoughts-not by any means all of us- it wouldn’t have occurred to do more than vaguely conceptualize these thoughts before.
It was just obvious on sight.
It still haven’t quite worked out why the above is/was so impossible, well, not from what I’m told anyhow.
Either way, that extent of passivity, felt very much like a privilege of being thin. Fat people were not allowed to blame anything, so we didn’t.
This is at least in part because, like everyone else, I thought it was entirely reasonable to take on my survival instinct and win. You acclimatize to this thinking. And though problematic, that doesn’t mean I’d ever want to throw the whole lot out by any means.
It’s certainly useful. People know you are human, they just define you and treat you as if you don’t actually count as one.
The experience of being fat in fat phobic societies, give us a different perspective which is inherently valuable. We’ve all learnt from taking for granted slim people’s humanity, now its time to learn from doing the same from fat people.