Thin privilege is Dear Abby’s response to the letter from Big Beauty in Illinois, who wrote in asking about a marked personality change in her friends who had recently lost weight. Big Beauty says her friends used to be as loud and boisterous as she is, but now that they’ve lost weight, they’ve also lost their confidence and constantly seek approval. Abby’s condescending reply:
Not knowing your friends, I can’t answer for them. But it is possible that having become “transformed and fit,” they no longer feel they need their loud and boisterous personas to compete for attention.
Because fat people apparently have the need to alter their personalities and project false confidence to compensate for being fat.
Because apparently there is no need to be concerned for people who go through a marked personality change because obviously they only acted the way they did because they were fat.
Because apparently it’s more acceptable for a newly thin person to suddenly need constant approval than it is for that same person to be naturally confident while fat.
This is the letter in full;
DEAR ABBY - I am a plus-sized woman. I am loud and boisterous, and I like to surround myself with similar women. However, there is a problem I am now facing.
Many of my friends have made amazing transformations and gotten fit. I am fully supportive and impressed, but I see the price they are paying. They are no longer confident and vivacious. They have become timid, approval-seeking shells of their previous selves.
Why do newly thin women forget how awesome their personalities used to be?
Such a fascinating observation which begs many questions. “Abby” is just out of her depth as she admits herself.
The value YOU accord to the privileging of slimness is not expressed in your words, but in how much energy you put into keeping it going. If you feel it is of no advantage.
Dismantle it now.
Find some way to object or confront those who are doing it if you can. Fat people couldn’t do this because we were indoctrinated to assumed we deserved to be treated like that.
That it was good for us because it would help to “motivate” us to become slim.
Thin people are not in that position. They know its wrong. They’ve not been taught to suck it up as some mark of their honour, verisimilitude, desire to follow societies orders, lose weight, reform their bad character etc.,
I wouldn’t pick on weight, but its fair to ask how they feel about comments on their bodies. Explain if possible that it doesn’t hurt because may not be thin, it hurts because its your body and it’s the same for you as anyone.
One of the things I’ve warned clueless slimz to wake up to is the assumption that the authority that is busy dehumanizing fat people, just happens to love them purely because they are slim. It’s a comforting idea but hardly convincing.
If they say they aren’t, are they told to do something about it,
i.e. get fat?
…..because they are represented every where as the acceptable ideal. It’s why slim people will not let go of that if it’s so useless to their self valuation. Why no demand for inclusiveness and why so threatened by the mere idea that this image could be replaced by a larger slim or plump one?
It’s the clinging to this position, the positing of inclusion solely as their loss,rather than everyone’s gain, that shows the value slim people are placing on their objectification.
And just as they value it so highly, rightly or wrongly, some other people will see things the same way they do.